


Don’t Buy Me Flowers

by LittleLynn



Category: Dream Daddy: A Dad Dating Simulator
Genre: 5+1 Things, Canon Compliant, Drinking, Infidelity, Just Joseph Robert and Mary growing as people, M/M, and getting out of toxic cycles, and living healthier lives emotionally and physically, bad choices, but with recurring smut, eventually anyway, i will defend all three of these twats with my life, ish, joseph and mary are awful spouses but not awful people okay, smut angst and fluff in that order
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-29
Updated: 2017-08-09
Packaged: 2018-12-08 06:53:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 13,516
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11641266
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LittleLynn/pseuds/LittleLynn
Summary: Five times it wasn't a date and one time it was.





	1. One

 

They’d lived in the same cul-de-sac for a while, long enough for Robert to know more than he ever wanted to about the Christiansens. They did a good job at pretending to be happy anyway, Robert respected that, he’d always been shit at that. One of the reasons he was sure Marilyn must have hated him at the end. 

The Christiansen’s though, especially that Joseph, they were good at pretending. Robert hated to think how long they were planning on dragging this trainwreck out, but neither of them seemed willing to let it go yet. They had thrown their very first BBQ - what would be the first of far too many - when they’d moved in, to meet the neighbours (Robert went for the free food) and Robert had seen it then. The forced smiles, the tense interactions Joseph and Mary had with each other, the fake laughter. But Robert supposed they did a good enough job of pretending, maybe Robert only recognised it for what it was so early because he’d already lived through a marriage falling apart, he knew the signs. 

Since then the cracks had only gotten worse, more obvious, everyone else started to see past the perfect family facade. Robert didn’t like gossip, but everyone else seemed to love it, so it usually made it’s way to his ears too. Hadn’t taken anyone very long to start whispering about Mary drinking alone at the bar, or Joseph’s wandering pretty blue eyes.

He saw Mary a lot at the bar, though they never spoke. He also saw a blushing Joseph getting kissed in the parking lot by different guys once or twice. For two people who desperately tried to project the image of a happily married couple during the day, they weren’t very careful after the sun went down.

Robert did his best to just stay out of it. He went to the BBQ’s for the free food and made as little conversation as possible and he could safely say he didn’t know the Christiansen’s at all. 

That lasted for six months. 

Six months after the Christiansen’s moved in Robert was sat drinking at the bar like he always was, he’d watched Mary stumble onto the next one about half an hour ago. He wondered how it was they could do this to themselves or each other, but neither of them showed any signs of stopping. Robert didn’t understand what insanity kept them together and he honestly didn’t particularly care either. 

“Sorry, this is terribly embarrassing, but have you seen my wife? She’s got long auburn hair and I think she is wearing a high necked sweater and an alice band.” Joseph appeared next to Robert at the bar, but he was speaking to Neil, describing Mary as if they didn’t all know who she was by now. 

“She left about half an hour ago.” Robert grunted, Neil was busy trying to serve someone a drink.

“Oh. Do you know where she went?”

“Dunno. There are six other bars in town. I suggest you try them.” Robert said with a shrug, tipping back the last of his whiskey, tipping his glass at Neil in a silent request for another. 

“Oh. Right. Of course.” Joseph said, voice sounding very small, Robert looked at Neil and inclined his head at Joseph, glad when Neil got the message and poured Joseph a whiskey too. Robert tried not to think about the fact that he had better communication with the barman than he had with his wife, he wasn’t sure what that said about him. 

“You’ve never been out looking for her before.” Robert said, voice slightly gruffer than he meant, he wasn’t great at making conversation, but Joseph was looking like a lost puppy as he slumped into the barstool next to him and stared at the whiskey he’d been poured. He was probably more of a cocktail kind of guy, but Robert wasn’t paying for that shit. 

“Sorry?” Joseph asked, and Robert only really then realised that what he’d said was probably quite rude. Oh well. 

“She’s in here most nights at some point. Never seen you here though.” Robert answered and actually, that wasn’t strictly true, he had seen him in the parking lot a couple of times with other men looking a little too intimate for innocence. 

“Guess you just missed me then.” Joseph replied, so he did come in and look for Mary occasionally, Robert wondered if that was when he ended up picking up or getting picked up instead. Maybe if his original intention had been to find Mary then he felt a little less guilty about it, who knew what went through these people’s heads. 

“Why you looking for her tonight?” Robert asked, not entirely sure why he was making more conversation with Joseph of all people than he ever had in this bar before. Maybe he just liked his voice. 

“Uh, why wouldn't I?” Joseph replied, he sounded unsure of his own answer, they both knew he didn’t look for her every time she went out, so why was today special, was it one of those days Joseph felt like blowing off a little steam too, Robert wondered what it would be like to blow off a little steam with Joseph.

Robert shrugged in response, “I just meant why tonight, of all nights, you might come looking occasionally, but not much.”

“I don’t see how that’s any of your business.” Joseph replied a little tightly, tipping back his whiskey in one impressive go, it was kind of hot. Robert was asking difficult questions and husband of the year didn’t like it, he was fun to rile up.

“Thank you for the drink Robert, but I need to go find my wife.” Joseph said, and maybe he even believed it, but his eyes were scanning the room in a way that Robert was sure was not in search of his  _ wife _ .

“What is it with you two?” Robert shook his head, taking a swig of his drink.

“Excuse me?” Joseph asked, sounding more defensive than he had before.

“You’re clearly fucking awful for each other.” Robert answered, whatever number whiskey he was on making him a bit freer with his opinions, usually he was good at keeping them to himself. 

“Don’t presume to know my marriage.” Joseph replied a little snippily, he was hot when he was getting worked up. “Myself and Mary are perfectly happy and any problems we have we are working out together in a healthy way.” Joseph continued, arms crossed showcasing his muscles nicely. Everything about him gone from dejected to prickly, his pretty face pinched, Robert liked prickly Joseph better than fake happy Joseph. Apparently Robert had had one too many whiskeys to let that bullshit fly though, and he laughed.

“Oh yeah? So Mary doesn’t drink every night and that wasn’t you I saw in the parking lot the other week getting a bit too friendly with someone who definitely wasn’t Mary?” Robert challenged.

“How  _ dare _ you!” Joseph said in a vicious whisper, obviously not wanting to raise his voice lest someone else hear their conversation. That would ruin people’s perception of his picture perfect life. “I don’t know what you think you saw but - ”

“Wanna get out of here?” Robert asked, downing the rest of his whiskey and throwing his common sense to the trash as he stood up from his stool, by the gobsmacked look on Joseph’s face, he hadn’t mistaken his meaning. Good. 

“How dare you!” Joseph was seething now, and that really was hot. Robert just shrugged and left the bar out the back door, completely unsurprised when Joseph followed him out, pretending to be mad at him, and maybe he was, but Robert would guess that wasn’t why he’d followed him out, despite what he was no doubt telling himself. “I don’t know where you get off accusing me of - ” Joseph carried on and Robert was bored of this now, spinning on his heel and catching Joseph unaware, backing him up against the wall, Joseph’s hands instantly coming up to rest against Robert’s chest but he didn’t push him away, probably telling himself the shock was the only reason why. 

“This is where I saw you.” Robert said, voice low, blocking Joseph in with one hand braced against the wall by his right shoulder and ducking his mouth close to his left ear, making it easy to whisper. “He was stood just like this. You had your hands against his chest just like they’re against mine now. There was a pretty blush staining your cheeks. What was he saying to make you blush like that I wonder?” 

“I - ” Joseph started, but he faltered immediately, just like Robert had expected he would. 

“Why’d you follow me out of the bar?” Robert asked, his nose just almost brushing against the nape of Joseph’s neck, he felt the other man’s breath hitch. 

“I don’t know.” He whispered back, and it was probably the truth given how effectively he seemed able to lie to himself. 

“I’m going to give you a choice.” Robert murmured, keeping Joseph crowded against the wall. “I can leave and we can forget this ever happened, or I can try and help you find your wife.

“I think - ”

“Or,” Robert interrupted, because he was not done. “Or I can take you home with me right now.” Robert finished, pulling back just far enough to make eye contact, doing his best to pin Joseph with his stare, not let him look away and hide for the choice he was making.

They both knew what he should chose, what the right thing was, because it was clear, it was right there for Joseph to chose even though they both knew he wouldn’t. If they were going to do this, then Robert wasn’t about to let Joseph lie to himself about it. 

He saw Joseph swallow thickly, lick his lips, and he knew he’d made his decision, but he was going to make him say it. 

Or at least, he had been going to make him say it, until Joseph leant up and kissed him instead. Joseph seemed hesitant at first, a gentle brush of lips, but that changed as soon as Robert responded, one of Joseph’s hands flying up to bury itself in Robert’s hair and pull him closer. Joseph was a good kisser, soft lips, sweet taste, just the right amount of desperate. 

“Shall we get out of here then? Or do you have a thing for parking lots?” Robert asked with a grin.

“O-okay.” Joseph said, seeming a little nervous again but letting Robert lead him away with a hand on the small of his back. 

The walked down the streets towards his house, Joseph staying close, letting Robert’s hand dip under the hem of his shirt and pet at the skin there, stopping very now and then to kiss Joseph until he was panting. When their houses came into view they both sped up just slightly, Robert managing not to fumble the keys as he hurried to get them inside.

Joseph was on him as soon as the door was closed behind them, throwing his arms around Robert’s neck and pulling him close for a suffocating kiss as they both kicked off their shoes. Joseph was already clawing desperately at Robert’s clothes, he shoved Robert’s jacket to the floor and broke the kiss so that he could tug Robert’s shirt over his head and toss it aside, Joseph’s hands greedily mapping his chest as soon as the shirt was gone. Robert backed Joseph towards his bedroom, pushing the stupid blue sweater off his shoulders and untucking his shirt. 

The back of Joseph’s legs hit the edge of the bed and Robert shoved him backwards, watching hungrily as Joseph his the mattress with a bounce and immediately shuffled back towards the pillows, ridding himself of his shirt as he went. Robert crawled after him, undoing his belt and pulling his pants and underwear off in one go.

“Eager.” Robert teased, wrapping a hand around Joseph’s hard cock, a pretty pink cock to match everything else about him.

“Shut up.” Joseph growled, grabbing at the fly on Robert’s jeans and undoing it quickly, pushing them down Robert’s hips as far as he could. 

After some slightly undignified shuffling Robert kicked his jeans and boxers to the floor and braced himself back over Joseph, keeping enough distance that he could get a good look at Joseph. Turned out he was even prettier out of his clothes. Hard muscles, blonde hair already touloused, lips kissed red, perky nipples, defined abs and a dusky blonde trail of hair under his belly button leading down to his cock. And maybe it was the whiskey, but Robert was fairly sure that if there was such a thing as a pretty cock he had just found it, circumcised, about six inches, just above average thickness, flushed pink and leaking from the tip, nestled in a thatch of trim blonde hair. Yeah, if a cock was ever pretty, this one was. 

“Like what you see?” Joseph said and Robert half thought he must be joking until he saw the cocked eyebrow and challenging look. It was the first time he thought that maybe he’d underestimated Joseph Christiansen, but it wouldn’t be the last. 

“Making me sad I don’t have any condoms, otherwise I’d suck that pretty dick of yours.” Robert replied as nonchalantly as he could manage, counting it as a victory when Joseph at least blushed a little, if not as much as he had expected. Robert had seen Joseph in the parking lot, no way was he going there without a condom, even if it did mean he wouldn’t find out if his come was as sweet as his mouth.

“You don’t have condoms?” Joseph asked, words concerned but eyes all but glued between Robert’s legs. It wasn’t like Robert had been expecting to get laid tonight, he hadn’t exactly stocked up.

“Don’t worry sunshine, I’ll still make you come.” Robert promised, reaching over to his bedside drawer and pulling out the mostly empty bottle of lube.

Robert poured some out onto his hand and didn’t bother to warm it up before wrapping his hand around them both, Joseph shuddering and whining at the cold sensation.

“Bastard.”

“Don’t pretend like you don’t like it.” Robert smirked, giving them both a firm stroke, Joseph’s breath hitching and preventing him from retorting as Robert squeezed and ran his palm over their heads. 

Joseph wrapped his arms around Robert, scratching his nails down Robert’s back whenever Robert made him moan, both of them fucking into his hand, Robert rhythmically increasing and releasing the pressure of his hold to add to the sensations flooding through them. Having to use one hand to prop himself up Robert couldn’t quite reach around their combined girth and he groaned when Joseph’s hand unexpectedly joined his own, creating a tight, warm channel for them both to fuck into. 

He loved the sensation of Joseph’s cock sliding against his own, hot and slick and hard, it was intoxicating. Joseph planted his feet on the mattress and used the leverage to fuck up into Robert’s hand more forcefully and Robert was struck with the thought of what it would be like to have Joseph fuck him. He doubted he’d find out, this was going to be a one time thing for them both, of that he was almost certain. Too much baggage, too many strings and not enough emotion between them. 

Maybe if Joseph ever did leave Mary he’d go looking for a fuck, but not otherwise, that was too messy. Robert liked sloppy, filthy sex, not messy relationships, and Joseph was  _ messy _ . 

Joseph tangled a hand in Robert’s hair and tugged him down roughly, bringing him into a bruising kiss that made his rhythm falter and hips stutter before getting faster than before. Joseph was gasping, clawing at Robert’s back with the hand that had been in his hair in a way that was definitely going to leave a mark. 

Joseph was beautiful when he came, throwing his head back, showing Robert his perfect pearly throat as gasping out, eyes screwed shut, body shudders as his cock pulsed against Robert’s, shooting ribbons of come up his unblemished chest. The sight brought Robert right to the edge, taking himself roughly in hand and stroking quickly five, six more times until he was groaning through his own climax, his come mixing in with Joseph’s which was far hotter than it had any right to be.

Robert collapsed heavily next to Joseph, both of them catching their breath and shaking through the aftershocks. Robert felt like falling asleep, it was his bed, his house, and he wasn’t the one uncomfortably covered in come, but even for him that would be rude. He dragged himself out of bed and into the bathroom, getting a washcloth damp and heading back into his bedroom, throwing it to Joseph, where it landed on his stomach with a wet smack. 

“Thanks.” Joseph grunted, like he wasn’t actually sure if he was thankful for the washcloth or annoyed that it had been so unceremoniously tossed at him.

Robert didn’t bother responded, climbing back into his bed and getting under the covers, not really caring that Joseph was still there as he sat up in bed and fumbled around in his bedside table for a cigarette. Joseph shuffled around the room, finding his discarded clothes and pulling them back on, Robert raising an eyebrow quizzically, cigarette between his lips and lighter raised, when he Joseph started loitering awkwardly in the room. 

“What?”

“This wasn’t...this isn’t going to happen again. We’re not, I’m not - Mary and me…” Joseph kept stumbling over himself, Robert put him out of his misery.

“This wasn’t a date sunshine. I’m not expecting you to take me to prom so get your panties out of their bunch and go home.” Robert said, lighting up his cigarette and closing his eyes, not watching as Joseph shut the door behind himself. 

 


	2. Two

 

 

It had happened three more times since that first time, and every time Joseph insisted that it was the last, but Robert had taken to keeping a supply of condoms and lube in his house, because no matter what Joseph said, it hadn’t been the last time yet.

Robert didn’t particularly care, Joseph was great in bed (and against a wall, in the shower, on the rug) and whatever it was he needed to tell himself to keep coming back was his business, not Roberts. 

They’d fallen into something like a routine already, Joseph would call or text and Robert would tell him if he was home and if he was, he’d just happen to have a visit from his overly friendly neighbour. Robert had no idea what Joseph was telling his wife, but that wasn’t his problem either, so he didn’t dedicate any time to thinking about it. He wondered if he should feel guilty, but he didn’t, he wasn’t actually the one with the wife, after all. 

Robert was somewhat surprised when he received an invite to the Christiansen’s next barbeque - a ridiculous letter invitation posted through his letter box, that he was sure everyone else in the cul-de-sac had received as well. Honestly who gave out hand-written invites to a casual barbeque. But after some thought, Robert supposed it wasn’t so odd, Joseph knew he wasn’t going to say anything, and not inviting Robert would probably look strange, and Joseph was all about appearances.  

No way was Robert going though. He seriously doubted Joseph actually wanted him around his family given everything they were getting up to together. Things that were definitely big no-no’s in God’s book. Robert kind of wondered what the hell Joseph told himself about that either, given that he’d heard the man gently lecture people on lying more than once. Normally the promise of free food (and damn good food too because Joseph was better than he had any right to be at the grill) would be enough to get Robert to go, even though it wasn’t exactly his scene. But even free food wasn’t enough of a payoff to get Robert to hang around Joseph while he was pretending to be father, husband and Christian of the year. 

He probably wouldn’t be able to resist laughing and that might jeopardise his chances of getting laid again. 

Anyway, quite understandably Robert thought, he had no desire to hang around Joseph, Mary and their kids while they pretended to play happy families. He also didn’t fancy the guilt he’d probably end up feeling. So when the barbeque was about to start, Robert grabbed his jacket and headed out to the bar, thus nullifying any attempts made by his friendly neighbourhood youth minister and married fuck buddy to get him to join in the socialising. 

It was about an hour later (one slowly nursed whiskey later) that he got a text from Joseph.

_ Hey, are you coming to the barbeque? I can save you some food if you’re going to be late _

Robert read the text and rolled his eyes, how was it that Joseph could be doing what he was doing and still apparently genuinely want Robert to come over to where his family was for a friendly barbeque. That was some impressive compartmentalisation. 

_ You can’t seriously want me there _

Robert typed back before knocking back the rest of his drink and signaling Neil for another. He usually didn’t reply right away, but he’d read it and had to ask, really unable to fathom what went through Joseph’s pretty head most of the time. Robert absentmindedly watched the game that was on in the bar, not really caring about either team that was playing or even the sport itself to be honest, but it passed the time. After a few minutes his phone dinged at him again. 

_ Of course I do! _

Joseph’s response was annoying, if anything, because Robert had no idea if he was talking to homemaker Joseph or if he was talking to  _ his _ Joseph, then he mentally kicked himself for thinking of him as his in any capacity. It was a good distinction though, the Joseph he bumped into in the streets who was all smiles and christian advice was completely different from the Joseph that fucked him so hard into the mattress last week that he hadn’t been able to sit properly for the next couple of days. 

Robert really had no idea how he did it. 

_ You’re a weird one sunshine, you know that? _

_ Why’d you want me there?  _

_ Seriously, don’t feed me your bullshit, I’m not your wife _

Robert flicked off a chain of text’s to Joseph, wanting for the first time to get into his head. Robert had assumed since they started this that Joseph would be keen to keep Robert as separate as possible from his home life, as any sane person would, but here Joseph was, apparently wanting him at his neighbourhood barbeque. 

_ Well everyone is here, I just thought you’d like to be a part of it _

Joseph responded and Robert snorted, taking a swig of his drink and replying. 

_ I said don’t feed me bullshit _

Robert responded, it was hardly a secret that he only ever really went to those things for the free food. There was a while before Joseph texted back this time, just like there was a silence whenever Robert asked him a question he didn’t want to answer.

_ I was going to come up with some reason to leave with you, maybe get you to say your grill was broken or something and I could come over and fix it. _

Well at least that was the truth, Robert sighed, it was a testament to how good Joseph was in the sack that he was getting involved with him at all.

_ Try and fix it huh? _

_ I don’t even own a grill _

Robert responded, he got it though, Joseph was clearly running out of plausible excuses for where he was going for a couple of hours. It would have been a good one, to be fair, wouldn’t have looked suspicious when he left Robert’s house if everyone knew he was there already, just fixing the grill, being a good neighbour. 

_ I don’t actually enjoy these things anymore. I used to, but now with all the problems with Mary, they’re just trying instead of fun. I guess I wanted you here because I like your company and I feel like I can escape with you sometimes. _

The confession surprised Robert more than anything else Joseph had done, and Joseph had stuck his tongue in Robert’s ass last week, so it was actually a pretty high bar - who knew the church boy was so dirty?

_ Well I’m at Jim and Kims  _

_ if you want to drown your sorrows _

Robert texted back, not really expecting Joseph to be able to escape his own barbeque, so not hugely surprised when he didn’t get a reply. Robert sipped at his whiskey and denied to himself the fact that he was ruminating over  _ why  _ Joseph and Mary stayed together, because it really wasn’t his business or his problem - not that that stopped anyone else in the neighbourhood gossiping about it. Robert wondered if that would change things for Joseph, if he knew that everyone in the neighbourhood already knew his marriage was a wreck that he might leave, appearances already ruined and all that, but most likely he’d just force himself to smile harder and laugh longer and awkwardly wrap his arm around his disinterested wife more often. 

Robert was still not thinking about it half an hour later when a familiar pink polo and blue sweater slipped onto the stool beside him. Robert blinked, unable to believe Joseph was actually here.

“A margarita please.” Joseph asked Neil politely, Robert laughed and shook his head. 

“Can’t believe you drink that shit.”

“Much more fun that convincing yourself whiskey tastes nice when we all know it doesn’t.” Joseph replied easily, accepting his drink off Neil with a smile and taking a sip, letting out a sigh when he set his glass down. 

“Sorry it took me so long to get here. It’s difficult to escape your own party.”

“What did you tell them?” Robert asked, curious about how Joseph had actually managed it.

“I, uh, told them a child in my youth group needed some help.” Joseph said, looking at least a little ashamed. 

“I thought lying was one of those things you aren’t supposed to do.” Robert mused aloud, teasing Joseph who had the good grace to flush a little. 

“I seem to do a lot of things I’m not supposed to when it comes to you.” Joseph muttered, taking another sip from his sugary monstrosity of a drink. 

“Good job your god is forgiving.” Robert said pointedly, wondering if Joseph really believed it was all okay so long as God forgave him. Probably not, Joseph was an odd one, but he wasn’t that naive, he knew what they were doing was wrong. Seems they were both good at making bad choices. 

“So who’s playing?” Joseph asked, clearing his throat and changing the topic with a nod to the television screen in the corner. 

“Not a fucking clue. Blue versus red and there’s a ball involved.” Robert shrugged, sports had never really been his thing, though sometimes he’d claim he supported the opposite team to someone just to rile them up. 

“Well I’m supporting the blues, it’s a nice color and they have the ball at the moment, which I’m assuming is a good thing.” Joseph nodded solemnly and Robert grinned. 

“Fine, the reds are mine, and we’re going to kick your ass.” 

“Stakes?” Joseph asked, settling into his stool more. 

“Loser pays for all the drinks this evening.” Robert suggested, turning to face Joseph again and trying not to get hot under the collar when he found Joseph looking at him over the rim of his ask, mischief all over his face.  

“I think we can make it a little more interesting than that, don’t you?”

“Oh?” Robert replied, trying to sound unaffected by the way Joseph’s voice had gone low, swallowing thickly when Joseph leant closer to whisper in his ear. 

“How about the loser has to do whatever the winner want’s tonight?” Joseph’s breath was hot in Robert’s ear, his hand trailing dangerously up Robert’s thigh. 

Robert threw back the rest of his drink, “yeah, okay.” He answered, voice sounding more raw than he had intended, Joseph smiling smugly to himself before taking another measured sip of his drink and looking for all the world like he was just enjoying a nice drink and the game with his friend. Fucker. 

It was a soccer game, and Robert had really never given a single flying fuck about soccer before that evening.

“Goal!” Joseph shouted smugly, somehow managing not to spill any of the drink that was in his hand. 

“Bullshit! That was completely offside come on ref!” Robert complained - he had no idea what the offside rule was, probably never would, but it made Joseph laugh and he did know and like that laugh. A lot. 

“If you give in now I might go easy on you later.” Joseph teased, eyes sparkling at Robert over the rim of his glass. 

“No chance, we’re gunna pull this back.” Robert insisted, letting out a ‘ha!’ when the red team got the ball and started running it towards the enemy team’s goal. 

“You were saying?” Joseph smirked as his team tackled and took the ball back. “How do you feel about ropes...?” Joseph trailed off, making Robert choke on his drink.

“Fuck.”

“Later.” Joseph promised with a dangerous smile that was probably a sin all on it’s own. 

“You’ve not won yet sunshine.” Robert grumbled and then facepalmed and groaned loudly as Joseph’s team immediately scored again, Joseph laughed that sweet laugh of his, matching his playful look well as he leant in close to the nape of Robert’s neck. 

“You’re going to look so good tied to the bed.” Joseph murmured, before turning to Neil and asking for another drink looking as innocent as can be, Robert just gaped after him. “Speechless already?” Joseph grinned at him, Robert was sure that this was the happiest he had ever seen him, his smile was almost contagious.

“You’re really something.” Robert smiled, shaking his head and tossing back the last of his whiskey. 

“Oh. Your team scored.” Joseph said, Robert hadn’t even noticed, too busy trying to not think about Joseph tying him to the bed later to focus on the game. “Maybe you’ll make a comeback.” Joseph teased, there was only a few minutes of the game left, the chances of Robert’s clearly inferior team scoring again in that time was small and they both knew it. 

And honestly Robert wasn’t even sure if he  _ wanted _ to win.  

“Maybe, and when we do I think I might punish you a little later for saying all these filthy things in public,” Robert turned Joseph’s own tricks against him, leaning close and speaking low and hot into Joseph’s ear, close enough to hear the light hitch in his breath. “Would you like that? Hmm? Me making that cute little ass of yours all red until you learned your lesson?”

Robert caught Joseph’s arm just before he spilled his drink and smirked. 

“Hear something you liked?”

“Possibly. But you’ll have to find out another time, because your team just lost.” Joseph said with a smirk of his own, sliding off his stool and straightening out non-existent wrinkles in his clothes. 

Robert quickly settled his tab and followed Joseph out of the bar, trying not to look like he was too glad about losing. They walked home quietly, Robert enjoying the comfortable silence between them, the easy atmosphere. 

“So,” Joseph started, backing towards Robert’s room and making Robert helpless to do anything other than follow him. “Do you have a safeword?”

“Uh - ”

“I wasn't kidding about those ropes.”

“I don’t have any rope.”

“I’ll improvise.” Joseph’s fingers teased at Robert’s belt and he felt his cock twitch in his pants. “We don’t have to though. I know what we said at the bar, but I won’t do anything you don’t want.”

“Don’t back down on me now.” Robert said, licking his lips and pushing his hips into Joseph’s hand. 

“The safe word can be Jimmy Buffett.” 

“Are you actively trying to kill the mood?” Robert groaned, it made Joseph laugh again and he kind of wanted to chase the sound. 

Joseph’s laugh trailed off as he deftly undid the clasp of Robert’s belt, tugging it out of his jeans and running it through his fingers in a way that had no right being as hot as it was.

“Strip.” Joseph said, shifting the mood from playful to something else entirely with just one firm word.

Robert did as he was told wordlessly, trying not to shiver as Joseph watched him. Robert pulled off his jacket and dropped it unceremoniously onto the floor, he thought about trying to make a bit of a show of it, but he figured he was more likely to make a fool of himself than look sexy. He pulled his shirt up over his head and let it drop, kicked off his shoes and did his best not to hesitate as he unzipped his fly and pushed his jeans down, stepping out of them. It was difficult, at this point, not to get self-conscious, Joseph watching him closely, not letting anything show on his face as Robert stripped.

“All of it.” Joseph said calmly when Robert faltered, Robert swallowed and did as he was told. He stood there completely naked and squirmed as Joseph slowly circled him, looking him up and down in a way that was managing to get him hard even though he wasn’t being touched. “Lie back on the bed.”

He followed his instructions, that had been the bet after all, and lay back on his bed. Joseph slapped at his leg, making it clear he wanted him to scoot up and Robert did that too.

“Arms together, above your head.” Joseph instructed, he was speaking as if none of this was having any effect on him, but Robert could see the tent in his pants.

Joseph wrapped Robert’s belt around his wrists and then fastened them to the headboard, Robert wouldn’t be able to escape unless Joseph untied him or he made a conscious effort, the leather felt surprisingly nice against his wrists, he liked the pressure pulling on his arms.

“If I had my ropes, I’d tie you up completely, make it so you couldn’t even move.” Joseph said, as if he was talking about the weather. “Would you like that?” Joseph asked, Robert gasping as he ran just one finger up the length of his cock. “I think you would.” He teased and he was probably damn right because the thought of it was making him throb.

Joseph pulled open the bedside draw and retrieved the condoms and lube from inside it, having done this enough times to know exactly where they were. He knelt on the bed still fully clothed, grabbing Robert’s legs and pushing them apart so that he could settle between them. Joseph tore open one of the condom packets and rolled it down Robert’s hard cock – embarrassingly hard really, considering he had barely been touched.

“Eager.” Joseph teased as Roberts hips hitched into his hand and whatever retort Robert was about to snap back with was lost in a throaty moan as Joseph wrapped his lips around his dick and sucked him down.

Robert tossed his head back into the pillow, straining against the belt as Joseph pulled off, wrapping a hand around Robert’s cock and lapping at the head, sucking on the tip before ducking down and mouthing at his heavy sac, burying his nose in the hair there. Robert hated not being able to bury his hands in Joseph’s soft blonde hair but he loved being restrained, whining out in frustration as Joseph licked his way back up his cock and sunk his mouth back down his length, driving Robert out of his mind as he slid all the way down to the base, Robert able to feel the way his throat constricted around him.

There was something about having Joseph Christiansen, Maple Bay’s perfect boy, fully dressed between his legs and deep throating his cock while Robert lay naked and helplessly tied to the bed that was  _ really _ doing things for Robert.

Joseph pulled off without warning making Robert whine. He removed the condom, wiped his mouth and got up from the bed, turning from him then, Robert getting a little restless as Joseph started rummaging around his room.

“Ah!” Joseph let out a sound of victory when he picked up Robert’s jacket and searched the pockets, turning back to the bed Robert was able to see his knife glinting from Joseph’s hand, his cock throbbed in anticipation. “Safe word?”

“Jimmy Buffet.” Robert said dutifully, amazed when it didn’t make his boner instantly disappear, probably because he was distracted by Joseph taking off his shirt.

“Good.” Joseph praised as he shucked off his pants and underwear, cock bobbing lewdly in from of him as he climbed back between Robert’s thighs. “Now, you are very fond of this knife, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you without it. Do you like knives Robert?” Joseph asked, trailing the tip of the blade over Robert’s stomach, making the muscles there flutter, he nodded in response. “I thought so…do you like this?” Joseph’s voice was low as he dragged the blade over Robert’s skin, just barely managing not to break the skin. Robert nodded again. “Use your words.”

“Yeah. Yes. I like it.” Robert said a little too quickly, his voice hoarse where his throat had gone dry.

“Good.” Joseph murmured, leaning down and taking Robert’s lips in a searing kiss, pressing his hot tongue into Robert’s mouth and running it along Robert’s own before biting and dragging Robert’s lower lip as he pulled away. Robert attempted to chase his lips, only to be stopped by the belt, Joseph smirking down at him.

Joseph went back to running the knife over Robert’s skin, watching his reaction carefully when he trailed it impossibly gently over Robert’s groin, chuckling lowly when it made his cock jump and leak.

“What about this?” Joseph murmured, running the blade over one of Robert’s nipples and making him moan before just barely breaking the skin of his pec, drawing a thin red line over the skin.

“ _ Fuck _ .” Robert gasped, Joseph deftly pulling the knife away when Robert bucked up against him, preventing the knife from cutting deeper then he meant with Robert’s movements.

“We’ll have to explore that another time, when I can really hold you down properly, stop you from moving at all.” Joseph teased and god Robert had never wanted someone this much in his entire life.

Long minutes dragged past with Robert panting as Joseph languidly moved the blade over his skin, occasionally kissing at the one cut he had left, or sucking on one of Robert’s sensitive nipples while teasing the other with the knife. It was agony. Robert was half ready to come without any touch on his cock when Joseph finally pulled away and put the knife on the bedside table. Robert wasn’t sure if he was relieved or disappointed.

“You look like you’re already about to come.” Joseph smiled, not unkindly, attention fixed on Robert’s neglected cock. “Maybe we should invest in a cock ring.” He mused, ducking his head down and pressing a kiss to the base, Robert’s breath faltering as he did so.

Joseph picked up the lube and poured some over his fingers, warming it up in his hand before reaching down and rubbing over Robert’s hole, pressing against it but not pushing inside.

“ _ Please _ .” Robert groaned, he’s already been teased for long enough this evening, he wasn’t sure how much more he could take.

“As you asked nicely.” Joseph answered, pressing the tip of a finger into Robert and beginning to toy with his rim, only pushing it in fully when Robert began to thrash against his bonds.

Joseph barely gave him time to feel before pushing a second finger in alongside the first, driving straight into his sweet spot with his two fingers and making Robert’s back arch off the bed and his mouth open in a silent gasp. Joseph was smiling when he opened his eyes, an almost disarmingly sweet smile as he fingered Robert open, making Robert wish he could reach up and draw him closer.

Joseph pressed in a third finger quickly after, stretching Robert roughly and quickly, making Robert sure that he wasn’t the only one affected by what Joseph had been doing. Robert was just barely stretched when Joseph pulled his fingers free, rolling on the condom and slicking his cock, lining himself up with Robert’s hole and pausing, giving Robert time to safe word and ask for more prep before pushing in. When Robert said nothing Joseph pushed in with one rough thrust.

Robert cried out, hands straining hard against their restraints as he adjusted to Joseph’s thick cock filling him up. Joseph gave him just enough time before starting to thrust hard and fast into Robert’s body, tugging his legs up higher around his waist so his cock could reach deeper inside of Robert, slamming into his sweet spot every time. Robert wasn’t going to last, he’d been on the edge before Joseph had even started fucking him and now he was being pounded through the mattress.

Joseph was relentless, driving into Robert so hard he was pushing him up the bed slightly, Robert’s fingernails digging into his palm as he balled his hands into fists. Joseph wrapped one hand around his cock and started stroking him roughly, Robert moaning loudly and squeezing his legs around Joseph’s waist.

“Gunna come.” Robert panted, voice strained as he tried to hold on a little longer.

“Yeah, come on, come for me.” Joseph encouraged, hips not faltering and Robert followed that one last instruction, gasping something that might have been Joseph’s name as his muscles seized up and his orgasm crashed over him, cock spilling between them, Joseph milking him with his hand until he’d gotten every drop out.

Robert collapsed back onto the bed and Joseph started to slow until he nudged him with his legs, letting him know it was okay to carry on and Joseph apparently didn’t need to be told twice, picking his speed back up and fucking into Robert’s loose body in earnest. Robert was mostly in a daze, moaning occasionally as Joseph continued to fuck his overstimulated body, but loving the sensation anyway.

It didn’t take long for Joseph to pull out, ripping off the condom and jack his cock furiously until he came hard, come landing on Robert’s chest and mixing with his own.

Joseph collapsed next to him, both of them panting hard and drenched in sweat, taking a while to come down from their high.

“I think you killed me.” Robert huffed after a little while, when he felt his heartrate finally start to return to normal, Joseph laughed happily.

“A good death, I hope.”

“Yeah. I think I might lose bets more often.” Robert replied, making Joseph laugh again.

Eventually Joseph dragged himself out of bed, heading to the bathroom and getting a cloth, coming back into the bedroom and wiping the come of Robert’s chest and stomach.

“Such a gentleman.” Robert teased sleepily, glad he wasn’t the one that had to find the energy to go home, even if home was next door.

“Thanks,” Joseph said, “I had fun.” Robert was about to say he had too, but then Joseph surprised him again by ducking down and pressing a kiss to the shallow cut he’d made on Robert’s chest. Kissing was a thing they did only as a prelude to sex, it made Robert unsure of how to respond. “But this really has to be the last time.” Joseph said, because of course he did, because he seemed to need to say it. “I’ll see you later.”

“Yeah,” Robert cleared his throat. “See you later sunshine.”

Robert climbed into bed properly and tried and failed not to think about Joseph. The sex was better than it had ever been, and the bar had already been extremely high. But what Robert kept finding himself distracted by, was how fun it had been to hang out with Joseph in the bar, how nice it had felt to get to seem him happy, loose, and smiling real smiles for once.  

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed the chapter, the next one will be with you in a few days <3
> 
>  
> 
> [tumblr](http://shadyanne.tumblr.com/)


	3. Three

 

 

Robert sat in the back of his truck with Betsy, looking out at the view and trying not to think about how lonely he was, it was always easier with Betsy at least. He’d always been a bit of a loner, so usually he was fine being by himself, but days like this stung, day’s when he really would rather be spending them with someone only to realise there really  _ wasn’t  _ anyone. 

He knew some of the other dad’s in the cul-de-sac sure, but not well enough for him suggesting out of the blue that they hang out to look anything other than weird. At least Betsy would never leave him. Dogs were better than people anyway. 

He could hit Jim and Kims, Neil was alright, quiet, good company, but it was only four in the afternoon, if Robert wanted to start drinking that early in the day he did it behind closed curtains in his own house where no one could see him. And he was trying not to do that anymore anyway.

“What do you think Betsy?” he asked the small dog. 

“Woof.” Was her deep, long thought out response. 

“Yeah, me too.” He said, patting her on the head and smiling as she barged her way into his lap and set up residence there. 

Robert looked out over the view, kind of wishing, not for the first time, that he had someone to share this with, not that Betsy wasn’t the best company. Robert reached into his pocket and pulled out his knife, intending to do some whittling but getting struck with less than innocent memories involving that knife. 

They’d used it more than once now, because of course, no matter what Joseph said, it was never really the last time. It made Robert flush a little thinking about it, wondering how grumpy he was allowed to be at Joseph for ruining his favourite knife for it’s intended purpose. (He wasn’t really grumpy about it at all).

He realised he never felt lonely around Joseph, that if he was close enough to anyone around here to just hang out, then that person was probably Joseph. That wasn’t what they did though, they didn’t date or hang out, they had sex and Joseph always said it was the last time, but it never was. It didn’t matter that recently they’d started hanging out sometimes before (but never after, Joseph always ran home quickly after), they’d drink together or take a slightly longer route back to Robert’s place, they even once sort of watched a movie before fucking on the couch. 

Joseph was also almost always the one to initiate it. Maybe Robert could be blamed for that first time, but since then it had been Joseph everytime, coming up with an excuse to go to Robert’s, or just ‘bumping’ into him at the bar or occasionally texting him without the need for an excuse - Robert wondered if Mary had been particularly awful on those days. Or maybe it was really Joseph that was the awful one. 

Seemed more likely that they were all their own individually fucked up brand of awful mixed together and headed straight for mutually assured destruction. 

Not that that would make him stop, he didn’t know if there was anything that could make him stop at this point, it just felt too good when he was with him. Whatever he felt after he was gone didn’t matter, and could usually be drowned in a bottle of whiskey. 

It made times like this hard though, when he realised he was by himself and had no one to talk to, to just spend time with. The more he thought about it, the more he realised that Joseph really was the only person around here that he wanted to hang out with, that he felt close enough to just spend time with. But that wasn’t what they did, it was messy and complicated. Everything about their relationship was messy. 

Robert really needed to start making more friends to avoid moments like this, moments when he was considering calling his married fuck-buddy because he didn’t have anyone else to talk to. He wondered if he did have a friend he could talk to, whether he would still want to call Joseph instead. He didn’t want to know what the answer was really. 

“I need an excuse though Betsy. I can’t just call him and ask him if he wants to come hang out with me in my truck.” Robert sighed, petting the small dog affectionately. 

“Woof.” She replied, he agreed, he had no idea what she was saying, but he agreed because dogs were always right. 

He was getting an idea, and it was a bad one, but there really was no one around to talk him out of it, except Betsy, and she wasn’t saying much. 

Before he could talk himself out of it - which would have been the sane thing to do - Robert hopped down from the bed of his truck and carried Betsy back around to the driver's seat, climbing up and putting her down on the passenger side as he turned the engine on. 

“You ready to be my wingman?” He asked her, she gave him a Look, Robert decided not to interpret what that one meant. 

He drove over to  _ Jim and Kim’s _ but didn’t get out the truck, instead picking up his phone and tapping out a text message to Joseph. 

_ Your wife is passed out at J&K _

It was a bare-faced lie, but hopefully it would get Joseph out of the house, give him an excuse to leave and find Robert instead. He was hoping Joseph wouldn’t mind the lie, wouldn’t mind the ruse. 

_ Give me five minutes _

Joseph responded quickly and Robert grinned, pocketing the phone and waiting for Joseph to appear. He wondered what Joseph would have said if he’d told the truth, that he just wanted some company. He couldn’t delude himself into thinking it would have been the same thing. Joseph almost always needed an excuse, a reason he was going to see Robert, even if the only one he told it to was himself, even if he didn’t believe it anyway. 

True to his word, five minutes later Joseph pulled into the car park in his impeccably clean car, climbing out of it and looking far too good for a man who just rushed out to pick up his wife. It astounded Robert that Joseph genuinely just look that good when he was minding his own business at home. 

“Hey, sunshine.” Robert called out of his car, stopping Joseph in his tracks and making him whirl around and walk over to Robert’s truck instead of the entrance to the bar. 

“Hey Robert,” Joseph smiled, surprising Robert when he climbed into the passenger seat, carefully lifting up Betsy before setting her on his lap and letting her stay there. It was cute. “So where are we going?”

“Uh, don’t you wanna know where Mary is?”

“Mary is at home, she was sat right next to me when he texted, actually.” Joseph laughed, laughing harder when Robert looked combination of confused and caught-out. 

“So why did you come?” Robert asked when he found some words. 

“I like spending time with you.” Joseph shrugged, turning a smile on Robert. “You’ve not left me bored or unsatisfied yet.”

“Oh.”

“So, where are we going?” Joseph repeated and Robert quickly rallied himself, filing away what had just happened for a closer examination later, even though that was definitely a bad idea. 

“I know a place.” Robert said, pulling out of the car park and heading back to the outlook by the forest he had just come from. 

“I’ll trust you aren’t driving me out into the woods to murder me.” Joseph said dryly as Robert drove in that direction. 

“Well, I guess you’ll just have to wait and see.” Robert grinned back, all teeth, making Joseph roll his eyes, but Robert saw the smile there too. 

“And who might you be gorgeous?” Joseph asked, directly addressing Betsy who was now standing in his lap with her paws up against Joseph’s chest, giving her new visitor a good sniff.

“Betsy.” Robert answered, trying not to melt at the way Joseph was cooing at his dog, it should be ridiculous not  _ cute _ . 

“What a pretty name for such a pretty dog.”

“She’s not pretty she’s fearsome.”  Robert interjected.

“The most fearsome dog in all the land.” Joseph amended, still speaking in that stupid baby voice. 

“We’re here, Robert said as he parked up, backing up so that they would be able to see the view from the bed of the truck, leaving the woods as what they could see from their seats. 

“...did you bring me out to the woods to kill me?” Joseph asked, still joking, it was Robert’s turn to roll his eyes.

“Just get out the truck.” Robert said, rummaging around for a second until he found a blanket he kept in there, in case of emergencies, climbed out of the truck and put the blanket down on the bed of the truck before hopping up to sit on it. 

“Oh wow.” Joseph said, sounding a little breathless as he paused in his tracks to admire the view. “Robert this is beautiful.”

“Just wait till it’s dark.” Robert shrugged, like this place was no big deal, like he shared it with everyone, anyone. 

Joseph set Betsy down on the truck bed and hopped up next to Robert, gathering his knees up to his chest instead of letting them dangle like Robert. He folded his arms around his knees and rested his chin on them, looking out over Maple Bay, he just sat there for a while, taking it in, he seemed softer like this, Robert thought. The silence between them was so comfortable Robert wasn’t entirely sure what to do with it, so he just looked at his own view.

“How did you find this place?” Joseph asked eventually, turning his head so that his cheek was resting on his knees, looking over to Robert. 

“It’s where I come to masturbate.” Robert answered and Joseph let out a burst of laughter, shoving at Robert’s shoulder and shaking his head. 

“You are the worst. We were having a nice moment.” Joseph whined, but he didn’t seem too upset about it, he was still smiling anyway. 

“Nah, I’m only joking, this is where I come to hunt cryptids.” Robert replied, revelling in joseph’s expression, clear that he had no idea if Robert was kidding this time or not; he wasn’t.

“I’ve no idea if that’s another bad joke or not.”

“It’s not.” Robert assured, sinking into the easy banter between them. 

“Is that why we’re here then? To go cryptid hunting?” Joseph teased, looking out among the trees as if he could spot something from here. 

“I don’t know Sunshine, don’t think you’re ready for that yet.” Robert said solemnly, startling another laugh out of Joseph and revelling in the sound, wondering when it had started to make him so happy to hear. 

“Oh? Do I have to go through some rigorous training before I’m allowed to hunt cryptids with you? Are there tests? I’ve always tested very well.” Joseph questioned intently, relaxed smile on his face, nothing like the one he wore around Mary.

“Oh yeah, loads of them. Gotta make sure you’ve got your credentials, aren’t gunna get mauled by the first werewolf you find. You’d probably be alright with vampires, all that religion in you they’d probably be scared to take a bite.” Robert teased right back, drowning in the delighted look on Joseph’s face, like it had been just as long for him, since he found someone it was so easy to be with. But they were all dangerous thoughts, so Robert pushed them aside for now. 

“But Robert,” Joseph said seriously. “I’ve already found the biggest cryptid of them all.”

“And what might that be?”

“Robert Small’s smile of course.” Joseph grinned at him, smothering Robert in sincerity that he wasn’t sure what to do with. 

“Jesus Sunshine that was cheesy.” Robert muttered, unable to completely stop the smile Joseph was talking about from spreading on his face. 

“True though.” He added sweetly, ducking in and kissing Robert on his blushing cheek. Robert wasn’t sure what to do with that. All this affection that had apparently seeped into all their time together, not just the sex. It was heady, he was going to get addicted. He couldn’t help it. 

Another comfortable silence drew out between them as they both enjoyed just being near each other. Eventually Robert pulled a half-whittled pieces of wood out of his pocket along with his knife and idly got back to work on it. It was supposed to be a new knife handle, but it was changing, he knew that wasn’t what it was anymore. 

“What’s that?” Joseph asked after a little while, his focus shifting to what Robert was doing as the sun went down, he’d have to stop in a little while anyway, before it got too dark to do safely.

“Wood?” Robert responded cleverly, it made Joseph scowl, but there was no heat in it, still a smile underneath it. 

“No silly, what are you making?”

“I don’t know yet.” Robert shrugged, wasn’t true but he didn’t want to tell Joseph, and the other man seemed to buy it anyway. “And you’ve ruined this knife for me. By the way. You owe me a new one.” Robert added, successfully changing the conversation, Joseph levelling him with a devastating smirk all of a sudden. It was almost enough to make his hand slip. 

“I’ll admit it’s featured in a few of my more sultry daydreams as well.” Joseph teased, running a hand up Robert’s thigh and forcing Robert to stop whittling through fear of maiming himself. The thought of Joseph fantasising about him when they were apart combined with the hand climbing up his thigh was enough to short-circuit his brain. “Watching you with it now it very distracting.” Joseph murmured, leaning closer to Robert.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” Joseph asked, his hand moving up from his thigh to slowly drag down the V neck of Robert’s red shirt. “How’s that nasty cut doing?” Joseph asked sweetly, finding the deepest cut he’d left Robert with yet on his left pec, a mostly healed line a few inches long near his nipple. Robert’s breath caught when Joseph leaned in close and kissed it. 

“ _ God _ Joseph - ”

“Tsk tsk. Don’t take the Lord’s name in vain.” Joseph said and Robert honestly couldn’t tell if he was joking or not. There was a charged moment between them as Joseph’s lips hovered just above his skin before he smirked and pulled away, glancing around them, as if he was worried someone was going to see them. “I think - oh my  _ god _ .” Joseph said, going breathless, whatever he was going to say derailed as he caught the view, renewed in the dark, beautiful view now glittering with light. Robert decided not to point out that Joseph had just taken God’s name in vain himself. 

“Yeah.” Robert smiled after him as Joseph looked out over the view, mouth hanging slightly open, awe written on his face, it made Robert glad he had brought them back out here.

“You weren’t kidding, this is beautiful.” Joseph said, staring out at the sparkling view for a while longer before lying down in the truck bed, his head in Robert’s lap, knees bent and feet planted on the blanket, looking up at the sky. “You can see the stars much better from out here.”

“I know.” Robert smiled, looking down at Joseph and brushing a lock of Joseph’s perfect hair off his forehead. 

“Tell me about the stars.” Joseph said with a cheeky smile, looking up at Robert. 

“I don’t know anything about the stars.” Robert admitted, wishing for the first time in his life that he did. 

“Well neither do I, so you’re free to make shit up as you see fit.” Joseph grinned at him and it was contagious, spreading over Robert’s face as well. 

“Oh well in that case over here we have Una Pahrilia.” Robert made up some nonsense word and pointed up to a cluster of stars. “They were, uh, warriors? Nah that’s rubbish, one was a prince, and the other was a thief.”

“What did he steal?” Joseph asked, as if this was a real story.

“The princes’ heart of course.” Robert grinned, Joseph laughed, smothering it by rolling his face into Robert’s stomach, it tickled, it felt nice. 

“Didn’t you accuse me of being cheesy earlier?” Joseph teased. 

“Well if you don’t want to know what happened…” Robert trailed off, he didn’t even know what happened himself yet.

“No no carry on!” Joseph said, blinking up at him, still smiling. What was it about that smile. 

“The thief broke into the prince’s palace one night to steal some jewels, the prince caught him in the cat but the thief was too wily for him, escaping with his prize anyway. He came back the next day, and the next and the next, each time the prince found him but the thief managed to outfox him, wishing him better luck next time and blowing him a kiss.”

“Why didn’t the prince just station more guards?” Joseph asked.

“He didn’t want to admit that the thief had outsmarted him and gotten away, and the more times it happened the more embarrassing it would be for him to report. And something else was happening too, you see, the prince lived a very boring life. On the surface he had everything anyone could ever want, a pretty wife, good children, riches, power; but despite all this he was lonely. He loved his children with his whole heart, but his marriage to his wife was arranged and devoid of love. He had jewels and gold but nothing left to spend it on, and he had long since learnt that riches could not fill his heart with warmth. And what good is power, when your heart is too good to use it, if his duty stopped him from being able to follow his heart? He ruled his kingdom fairly and justly, and his people prospered while he withered away without anyone even noticing.

“But the thief was different, he flirted and played and laughed at and then with the prince. The prince stopped pretending to be angry at the thief, stopped pretending that he wasn’t waiting for his next visit just to break up the monotony, to give him something to look forward to and the thief noticed too. After a while, he had stolen nearly everything of worth in the palace and he asked ‘you’ve run out of riches for me to steal, the only thing left here of any worth is you, so maybe I shall have to steal you now’ and the prince told him ‘I was the first thing you stole’.” Robert finished the newly-invented story, Joseph listening raptly to the whole thing, even though he knew it wasn’t really in the stars. 

“Did they run away together? It’s not a happy ending unless they run away together.” Joseph said, looking far too sincere and concerned about this happy ending than he should have.

“I don’t know. He loved his kingdom and his children, didn’t want to let any of them down, and it wasn’t his wife’s fault either, she was stranded in this arranged marriage as well.”

“But it’s  _ your _ story, you can finish it anyway you like. And he loves the thief, shouldn't that be enough? He should have to stay in that life anyway.” Joseph protested earnestly, big blue eyes looking up at Robert, Robert wondered how Joseph was managing to miss the irony in his reaction to the story.

“Alright Sunshine, he goes with the thief and they live very happily until they’re grumpy and saggy old men. Better?”

“Much.” Joseph said, satisfied. “I always knew you were a romantic.”

“Yeah, your dick in my ass really screams romance.” Robert snorted, thinking back to all their other encountered and wondering when, in all that rampant fucking, Joseph had ever decided that Robert was romantic in any way.

“It doesn’t always have to be like that,” Joseph said, and Robert’s breath caught, he couldn’t mean - “I mean, I’d quite like to have your dick in my ass at some point.” Joseph continued with a cheeky grin and Robert wasn’t sure why he felt a little disappointed at that, either way it was a strange thing to feel alongside very suddenly turned on.

“Oh yeah?” Robert asked, eyebrow raised slightly.

“Yeah.” Joseph’s impish look continued as he looked up from Robert’s lap, enhanced by the way his hair was already a little messy from Robert toying with it. 

“Wasn’t sure if you were into that.” Robert admitted, licking his lips as he felt his mouth start to go a little dry. 

“I might prefer to top, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want to get fucked every now and then.” Joseph said, voice gone sultry, biting his lip in a very calculated way. Robert felt his dick twitch in his pant, and going by where his head was and his growing smirk, Joseph felt it too. “Would you like that?” He asked, because he was a fucking tease.

“What do you think?” Robert replied, challenge in his words but completely not ready for Joseph to roll over just enough to start nosing into his crotch. “Fuck.”

He could see Joseph’s self-satisfied smirk as he buried his face against the rapidly growing hardness in Robert’s jeans. Joseph undid the button and zipper on Robert’s jeans and started mouthing at Robert’s cock through his boxer briefs, licking at his shaft and sucking on the head until the fabric was wet with a mixture of Joseph’s saliva and Robert’s precome. Robert tangled a hand in Joseph’s hair and urged him on, Joseph sucking on his clothed balls one last time before reaching up and tugging them down just enough to get Robert’s throbbing cock out. 

Joseph then proceeded to give him what was the laziest, sloppiest, most indulgent blowjob Robert had ever received. Joseph looked up at him with those blue eyes and slowly let his mouth drop open, he didn’t even bother to move much, just rolling more onto his side, still draped on Robert’s lap to give him easier access to his waiting mouth. Robert got the message fairly quickly and used the hand in Joseph’s hair to guide his mouth onto his cock. Robert rolled his hips in time with moving Joseph’s head, lazily fucking his throat at a gentle pace. Joseph lay there, perfectly content, his own cock clearly hard in his well-pressed trousers as he drooled around Robert’s cock. Occasionally he would suck or swallow around Robert’s hard cock, but for the most part he seemed happy to lie there and languidly let Robert use him however he wanted, making cute little noises as if Robert had given him something truly delicious and he just wanted more. 

Robert wasn’t sure how long they stayed like that, Joseph’s head sweetly pillowed in his lap as he let Robert leisurely push his cock into his mouth, eyes fluttering open and looking up at him contentedly with every few thrusts, before falling closed in contentment again. Eventually Robert tugged Joseph gently off his cock, his eyes opening immediately and looking like Robert had just cruelly deprived him of a favourite sweet. He ducked back in and cheekily licked up his shaft, giving one last indulgent suck to the head before staring innocently up at Robert.

“You’re gunna be the death of me.” Robert said, not for the first time, and Joseph smiled in response, as he always did, completely unconcerned by the drool and precome making his lips and chin shiny, Robert couldn’t help it, he tugged Joseph up to kiss him.

It was a deep kiss, Joseph climbing happily into his lap, far more docile than he usually was during their trysts, seeming to melt into Robert’s arms as well as the kiss. Joseph moaned happily when Robert slipped his tongue into the blonde’s mouth, he tasted like cookies and sin, if that was possible to be a taste. 

“I don’t have - ” Robert started to say, cut off by Joseph clearly knowing exactly what he was about to say and taking a condom and small bottle of lube out of his pocket and pushing it into Robert’s hand. 

Joseph climbed off his lap and stretched out like a cat as he lay down in the bed of the truck, opening his legs invitingly, with Betsy curled up just a couple of feet away from his head.  

“Wait.”

“What?”

“I have to put Betsy inside, I can’t fuck you with her watching.” Robert muttered, hopping down, having to hold his trousers up and picking Besty up, carrying her around to the driver's seat, which she happily started to go to sleep on straight away.

“You know I don’t think she would have cared. And you did just let me suck your cock with her right there.” Joseph laughed, lying in the bed of the truck and leaning his head on his hand as he looked at Robert, he was beautiful like this, free and loose and slightly dishevelled. Smiling, blue eyes sparkling, blonde hair touloused. Beautiful. 

“Yeah well she was at least out of my line of sight.” Robert grumbled, laying down beside Joseph and letting himself fall into it when Joseph leant forward to kiss him softly.

Joseph’s hand falling onto his still hard and uncovered cock reminded him of how wound up he already was, making him grunt soflty and fuck into Joseph’s hand.

“So are you going to do anything useful with this?” Joseph teased and Robert reached around to slap him on the ass, Joseph let out a surprised and somewhat delighted sound, making Robert wonder if that was something they should try out another time.  

Robert sat up and pulled Joseph’s pants and briefs off less elegantly than he would have liked, but Joseph didn’t seem to mind, kicking them the rest of the way off and laying on his side facing Robert, his pink cock was hard and leaking a pool of precome on his pinker shirt. 

“Roll over,” Robert instructed, pushing at Joseph’s shoulder until he was on his other side, facing away, allowing Robert to press up close against his back. 

Robert hooked an arm under Joseph’s leg, hitching it up as far as it would go, encouraging Joseph to hold it up himself so that he could run his hand back down over Joseph’s ass, grabbing a handful and pulling it to the side, wishing there was more light so he could get a better look at his cute little hole. 

“You do this much?” Robert asked, coating his fingers in lube and rubbing them against Joseph’s eager hole, wanting to know how careful he needed to be.

“I fucked myself on four fingers last night thinking about you.” Joseph said casually, as if that was something you just said to your fuck buddy. “I was in the shower, I knew your cock would be able to do it better though, get deeper, fuck me harder.”

“You really do have a filthy mouth.” Robert growled, pushing his index finger inside Joseph in one smooth push.

“You love it.” Joseph gasped, and Robert couldn’t see the point in denying it, opting instead to start opening Joseph up on his finger.

Despite what Joseph said, how he had spent the previous evening, Robert still took his time fingering him, discovering all the previously undiscovered sweet sounds that Joseph made while he was being fingered, simultaneously working him up and turning him boneless in Robert’s hands. It went on for a long time, Joseph was beyond words by the time Robert had four fingers inside him and was slowly stretching him open, he’d been ready ages ago and they both knew it, but Robert was enjoying himself and by the steady moaning so was Joseph. Robert brushed his fingers over Joseph’s sweet spot and Joseph shuddered with pleasure, whines hitching in his throat as he pushed his ass back against Robert’s fingers. Robert was pretty sure he could spend an entire week fingering Joseph and still not get bored. 

“Come on Robert,  _ please _ .” Joseph gasped, barely able to get the words out, and Robert’s own throbbing dick put in it’s own plea at the sweet sound. 

Robert pulled his fingers free, making Joseph whimper and rock his ass back towards Robert, hurrying him along. Robert grabbed the condom Joseph had given him, opening it with his teeth and rolling it down his hard cock, giving himself a few strokes to slick himself up and take the edge off. He spooned up close behind Joseph, holding Joseph’s still loosely bent leg and hitching it up higher to get better access to his stretched hole, letting his cock catch on Joseph’s rim teasingly. 

“Ready?” Robert asked, lips kissing along Joseph’s neck and smirking against his skin when he just whined patiently in response. 

Robert pressed inside in one steady thrust, biting down on Joseph’s shoulder and making them both moan.  _ God _ Joseph felt good, tight around Robert’s cock despite how long he’d spent stretching him open. Robert wasted no time before he started fucking into Joseph, too wound up from fingering Joseph open but not touching his own cock for so long.

He rolled Joseph further onto his front, leaning up onto his arms and fucking into Joseph deeper and faster, panting against the nape of his neck. Joseph was making these breathy little moans pressing his ass back desperately and chasing Robert’s thrusts, turning his head and trying to catch Robert’s lips. Robert ducked down and met him, because his body was begging for a kiss and Robert would never be able to say no to him. They shared a messy, uncoordinated kiss that was disrupted by every slam of Robert’s hips, it was everything Robert wanted.

Robert knew when he hit Joseph’s sweet spot, the blonde crying out desperately, mouth going slack under Robert’s as the rest of his body tensed up deliciously. Robert picked up the pace as best he could from this position, Joseph making frustrated little whining noises that Robert thought were trying to get him to go faster until joseph managed to gasp out some words. 

“Can’t kiss you properly like this.” Joseph mewled as Robert was already moving them, and instant response of giving Joseph what he wanted, as if Robert would ever deny him a kiss.

He slipped out of Josep briefly, turning him on his back and sliding back in only a few seconds later, ducking down to kiss Joseph thoroughly as his hips began snapping against Joseph’s ass again, the lewd sound of skin slapping against skin and sloppy kisses filling the air around them. 

“Better?” Robert asked, Joseph just cried out and wrapped his arms and legs around him, pulling him closer, kissing him harder, trying to get him deeper.  

Joseph kissed like it was consuming him, like the only thing he wanted in the world was Robert; it was an intoxicating, dangerous thought. Robert tried not to let it linger. 

“Touch me,” Joseph begged and Robert did as he was asked, wrapping a hand around Joseph’s leaking cock and stroking it in time with his thrusts. 

They’d done this enough times now that Robert knew when Joseph was close, knew the sound of his moans as he got close to climax, knew the way he dug his nails into Robert’s back hard enough to leave scratches in the morning, knew the way he threw his head back decadently. Robert clamped his lips onto the small amount of skin that was visible under the collar of Joseph’s shirt and bit down on it, sucking hard and groaning out when Joseph  _ wailed _ as he came over Robert’s hand as his own pink shirt that they’d never bothered to take off. Joseph was so beautiful when he came, all inhibitions long since lost, bliss washing over his flushed face, mouth slack, eyes fluttering, throat bared, little moans falling from his rosy lips - the sight alone would have been enough to make Robert come, but with Joseph’s ass clamping down around him, he didn’t stand a chance, coming hard in Joseph’s ass. 

“Fuck Sunshine.” Robert grunted from where he was collapsed against Joseph, not worrying about the come on Joseph’s shirt, or the fact his cock was still buried in Joseph’s ass, slowly going soft. Joseph didn’t seem to mind anyway, trailing sweet fingers over Robert’s back. 

“We are good at that.” Joseph smiled, probably aiming for cheeky, but he just sounded fucked out. It was a good sound.

Eventually Robert pushed himself up and gently slipped his cock from Joseph, taking the condom off and leaving it in the truck bed until he found a bin. Robert was surprised, when Joseph laid a gentle hand on his chin and guided him back down for a sweet kiss, it felt different from other times, Robert forcibly shoved down everything that he was starting to feel, but it was difficult, when Joseph was looking up at him with such a tender smile. 

They’d barely even gotten undressed, Joseph had only lost his pants and underwear and Robert hadn’t even rid himself of that, only needing to tuck himself back in and help Joseph back into his pants. Their clothes stained with sweat and come, Joseph’s shirt utterly ruined, not that it seemed to concern him, he just pulled his blue sweater on over the top of the mess and smiled sleepily at Robert. 

They didn’t talk much as Robert drove them home, he’d never noticed that Joseph was apparently sleepy after sex before, because he’d always disappeared as soon as they were done. But this time Robert had to drive them both home, so he could see the sated, sleepy look on Joseph’s face as he dozed against the window. 

Joseph surprised him again when he pulled into his own drive, but climbing into his lap and kissing him thoroughly, caught somewhere between sweet and filthy, which really was just Joseph all over. Eventually they turned chaste again, Joseph pressing a few closed-mouth kisses to Robert’s lips before finally pulling away. 

“I had a good time.” Joseph smiled, earnest as ever, despite the fact his wife was probably only fifty feet away, Robert didn’t know what to think, what to feel. 

“Yeah, me too.” Robert breathed, leaning up to give Joseph another peck, that of all things making the blonde blush.

“You should send me bogus text messages more often.” Joseph teased, settling on Robert’s lap, his waist warm where Robert’s hands were on his hips. It was different, wildly different from usual, normally Joseph was saying how it could never happen again, had to be the last time, laughing it off somehow, but this time Joseph was inviting it to happen again. It left a lump in Robert’s throat.

“If this is the result, maybe I will.” Robert agreed and he meant it, he wanted more of this. Whether it was the sex or the affection and companionship he didn’t know, but he told himself it was the sex. It was easier that way.

Joseph beamed at him and ducked down to kiss him one more time and Robert remembered how much he liked seeing Joseph happy and free to just  _ be _ . But then Joseph climbed off his lap and out the truck, reminding Robert of the reality as he quickly fixed his hair and snuck back into his own house.

So Joseph went home like he always did, like Robert knew and expected and  _ wanted  _ him to do. He wanted him to go home. He did, didn’t he? For the first time, Joseph leaving left  Robert feeling a little empty, a little lost, a little lonely. Left him looking for a bottle, because that wasn’t what he and Joseph were and it never would be.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! I hope you are still enjoying it! My girlfriend is visiting from Florida for a week on Thursday(!!!!) so next weekend will be the soonest I can update <3
> 
>  
> 
> [tumblr](http://shadyanne.tumblr.com/)

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed the first chapter, shouldn't take long for me to get the next one to you! Comments and kudos are writing fuel <3 
> 
> As always you can find me on [tumblr](http://shadyanne.tumblr.com/)


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